


Learning to Love

by canadiancop



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Movie Stars, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-10-31 19:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10906074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadiancop/pseuds/canadiancop
Summary: In hindsight, there are a lot of things that Lena could have done differently. There were big things, like how she could have chosen not to audition for Sunset five years ago, and there were small things, like how she could have chosen not to invite Jess over to her place that night. Mostly, she thinks, the thing she regrets not doing is closing the curtains. She thinks this because, at the sight of open curtains, the paparazzi got everything they had ever wanted from her: a secret.orthe one where everyone is a movie star and Kara and Lena have to pretend to date because reasons





	1. Lena

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a lot of homophobia in this chapter so tw for that. if that's gonna trigger you to read it but you still wanna read the fic, i put a chapter summary at the end so you can know what happened without having to read it  
> thanks to my awesome beta thescreamingbisexual.tumblr.com

6 months ago

 

In hindsight, there are a lot of things that Lena could have done differently. There were big things, like how she could have chosen not to audition for Sunset five years ago, and there were small things, like how she could have chosen not to invite Jess over to her place that night. Mostly, she thinks, the thing she regrets not doing is closing the curtains. She thinks this because, at the sight of open curtains, the paparazzi got everything they had ever wanted from her: a secret.

It’s this secret, this well-kept-before-now secret, that ruins her. She wakes up on the worst Sunday morning of her life happy, next to her girlfriend, and not expecting what happens next in the slightest.

“Jess,” she says, pressing her lips to Jess’s forehead, her nose, her lips, “wake up.”

Jess just groans in response. “Five more minutes.”

Lena sighs. She sits up and rubs the sleep out of her eyes before stepping on the cold hardwood floors of her apartment and heading to the kitchen. She pulls the coffeemaker onto the counter and scoops ground coffee beans into the filter before turning it on and pouring water in. She turns around, resting on the island in the middle of the kitchen, before turning on her phone and noting the notifications.

5 missed calls – Lex Luthor

4 missed calls – Lillian Luthor

2 voicemails

10 new iMessages

Frowning, she unlocks her phone and goes into her messages, 9 of which are from her best friend, Jack Spheer.

[2:00 am] Jack: shit lena

[2:00 am] Jack: don’t look at the news

[2:00 am] Jack: well actually i guess u should look at the news

[2:00 am] Jack: but its bad

[2:01 am] Jack: like really bad

[2:01 am] Jack: i know ur probably asleep but i really need u to wake up

[2:01 am] Jack: lena

[2:01 am] Jack: LENA

[2:27 am] Jack: i’m sorry this happened

Lena furrows her eyebrows and checks the last remaining message from Lex Luthor.

[7:54 am] Lex: Call me.

 She goes into the phone app on her phone and clicks on the first voicemail from Lex Luthor, bringing the phone up to her ear.

“Lena, I know it’s early in the morning, but I need to talk to you. There’s some…” He pauses for a moment before saying, “incriminating, so to say, information on you in the magazines right now. I know it’s probably not true, Photoshop, maybe, but I need you to call me right now so I confirm it’s fake. I know you wouldn’t do anything like this to me, to our family, but it looks pretty damn convincing. Please. Call.”

The call ends. At this point, Lena can feel her stomach sinking. What could possibly be so bad that Lex called her? The media has done some pretty awful things, but never to her, never to this extent. She clicks on the second voicemail from her mother.

“Lena. I’ve seen the magazines this morning, darling, and I’m not happy. I thought we dealt with these… thoughts… when you were in high school. You know what this could do to our family, so I’m hoping it’s not true, but if it is, you need to know that there’s nothing that we can do to remedy this, not at this level. If it’s not true, call me back, and I’ll help you release a statement. If it is… don’t call back, Lena. We’re done.”

Lena inhales sharply. There’s only one thing that her mother could be talking about, saying that they ‘dealt with it in high school.’ She remembers the day her mother caught her with Ellen McCall up in her room, on her bed. They’d been on their way to doing other, more intense, things when Lena’s mother barged in and threw Ellen out of the house. She said to Lena, “We don’t do these things,” and locked her in her room for a full day. When she finally let Lena out, she said they were never to talk about it again, not if she wanted to stay part of the family.

Lex had been out on a business trip, and her father was long gone, so there was no one to explain her absence to, and therefore no one to confess to, either.

Lena brings the phone down from her ear and types into the search bar, fingers shaking, “Lena Luthor.” Sure enough, the first things that pop up were written early this morning – “‘Sunset’ Star, Lena Luthor, Found in Bed With Unknown Woman” – “Lena Luthor, A Lesbian?” – “Does Lena Luthor Play for the Other Team?” There are images of her in her room, Jess sucking a hickey on her neck, and her mouth open in pleasure. Before she knows it, her phone is on the ground and her heart is in her throat and she can barely hear it through the sound of her heart beating out of her chest when she calls out, “Jess.”

Jess, apparently, does hear it, and is by her side in seconds. “Lena, honey, what’s wrong?”

“This can’t be happening,” Lena says quietly.

“What? What can’t be happening?”

“Look up my name.”

Jess furrows her brows, but does as Lena says and opens the laptop on the couch. She types Lena’s name into the search bar and finds the same awful – wretched, terrible – things that Lena did.

“Fuck,” says Jess.

Lena just nods until Jess says, again, “Fuck!”

“What?”

Jess runs her fingers through her hair, breathing heavily. “I’m not out to my parents, Lena.”

“Yes, I know,” says Lena, voice lilting up at the end like a question.

“I’m not out to my parents and they know who you are – they know we’re friends.”

“That doesn’t mean anything –”

“This will be all over everything by the end of the day, don’t you understand that? They’re going to see someone with dark hair, the same length as mine, with tan skin, the same color as mine, giving Lena Luthor, a friend of mine, a hickey. They’re going to know!”

“Jess, calm down, we can work through this –”

“No, we can’t. I can’t do this.

 “Jess, please.”

Jess stands up and walks to the door, pulling on her shoes. “I can’t do this.”

“Jess, come on, we can work through this together.”

“No, Lena,” she says, “there is no us together. We’re done.”

Lena tries to yell out Jess’s name, but the sound is covered by the door slamming, so she doesn’t even think Jess hears it. She runs out into the hallway, yelling, “Jess, wait!” but Jess doesn’t, and then Lena is on the ground, crying.

~

She doesn’t call Lex back for hours. Instead, she sits on the couch and eats the ice cream out of her freezer, scrolling through article after article about National City’s newest lesbian. She ran out of tears to cry hours ago, so she’s just sitting there with red eyes and a sick feeling in her stomach until she gets the nerve to call her brother back.

 The phone rings for what seems like hours before Lex picks up.

“Lena, where have you been?”

“Sorry,” she says. “I was busy.”

“Busy with suing the assholes who made it look like you were some sort of gay?” He spits the last word out like poison, like any other way to say it would kill him.

“Lex,” she starts.

“Lena, I’m being honest, you could sue them for slander. This isn’t who you are.”

“Lex –”

“I can’t believe they would do this to you, to us! If they think they can ruin the good Luthor name with this, then they’re wrong.”

“Lex –”

“What?” he says, out of breath.

Lena gulps, hard. “It’s not fake.”

There’s a pause before Lex says, “Of course it is. What are you talking about?”

“It’s not fake. I’m…” She stops before saying, ‘gay.’ She’s never said that out loud, let alone to her homophobic older brother. “I did it.”

“You did what?”

“I did what they’re saying I did. I was with the woman in the picture. Her name is Jess, you know, and we’ve been dating…” she pauses, “were dating for a while and –”

“No.” He says it simply, like that is the only true thing in the world. “No. No, you didn’t.”

“Lex,” says Lena, softly this time.

“You didn’t. I know Mom and Dad weren’t the best to you, growing up, but they weren’t bad enough that you had to become a gay!” He spits the word out again, worse this time, somehow. “I refuse to have that sort of sin related to me. _Mom_ will refuse to have that sort of sin related to her.”

“I know,” says Lena.

“You’d risk your family, your life as a celebrity, your spot in heaven, just for some girl? I thought I knew you better than that.”

Lena says nothing.

“This will be the last time we speak. Don’t call me again.”

And she doesn’t.

~

Lena doesn’t leave her apartment for a week. The closest thing to human contact she has is calling Jess, who doesn’t answer.

(“Jess, please, pick up your phone. I didn’t know they would get those pictures, I swear. We can work through this together. Please, call me back.”

“Jess, this isn’t fair. How was I supposed to know the curtains were open? Please, call me back and we can talk about it.”

“Okay, this isn’t fair at all. I have just as much, if not more, to lose as you! I’m famous for God’s sake, and you’re just some girl no one knows about! Fuck, no, I didn’t mean it like that… I just meant that this is hard on me, too, okay?”

“Jess, I’m sorry for what I said. Please, call me back.”

“I love you.”)

Jack calls her, too, but she’s the one who doesn’t pick up the phone in that respect.

(“Lena, I’m sorry this happened, but it’ll be okay. I’m out, out and proud, and I still get roles. I still have friends. I know this feels like the end of the world, but it’s not. Call me back when you get this.”

“Lena, I heard about your mom and Lex, and I’m sorry, but it’ll be okay. The only place you have to go is up, now. Call me back when you get this, please.”

“Lena, it’s been three days, come on, call me back. I know you’re suffering, but I can help. I want to help you. Call me.”

“It’s Jack. Again. I’m worried about you. Please, call me back.”

“I hope you’re okay.”)

She lasts two weeks before she has to leave her apartment. The only reason she eventually does leave is because she’s run out of groceries. The only things left in her apartment are canned fruit and half a jar of peanut butter when she finally steps out of her home. The paparazzi are waiting, because aren’t they always waiting? The catch her the moment she steps out of her apartment building – red eyes and hood turned up – and they’re snapping pictures before Lena can register anything. She buys ramen noodles and boxes of spaghetti and bread because what does it matter if it’s all carbs? It’s not like she’s going to act again, anyway. It’s not like she has to keep up a figure because her job is gone and her girlfriend is gone and her whole life is gone.

She spends a lot of time re-watching old movies of hers. She knows there are gay people in film and television – Ellen DeGeneres, Wanda Sykes, Sarah Paulson – but she can’t help but notice that none of them were outed. They all chose to be open with who they are, who they loved, and Lena had none of that. She had none of the control, none of the consent, none of any of that. When she runs out of movies to watch, she looks up out actresses and starts watching their movies. Her favorites are with a blonde woman with great arms that she can’t remember the name of, and for a few seconds she thinks maybe, just maybe, it’s not so bad to be out. She thinks that, of course, until she remembers the fact that she’s been disowned by her family and that the media is calling her a liar for not coming out and that the only person she’d ever been in love with was gone. So, yeah. It’s not that great.

She reads articles, too. She promises herself that she’ll go to bed at 11:00 each night, and every night at 11:15, she’s reading all the articles written about her in the past few days. She reads about how they ‘guessed it,’ what with the fact that the only man she’d ever been seen with was the very gay Jack Spheer, and she reads about how it’s been ‘a huge shock’ because she’s so feminine. She reads about ‘Lena Luthor’s internalized homophobia’ and ‘how the societal pressure to come out affected Lena Luthor,’ but mostly she reads the comment sections. There are nice responses, ones that say, “I can’t imagine being her right now! I’m sending her my best.” There are ones that say, “I always knew I liked her,” and “This is awful what they’ve done to her,” but the overwhelming majority are not nice comments. They’re comments like “Glad I never liked her movies,” and “What a filthy dyke,” and “I hope she never finds work again.”

But describing what she does in her days is just a more complicated way of saying that she cries herself to sleep at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Lena wakes up to find her name in every magazine and article about how she's gay because the paparazzi got a picture of her with her girlfriend, Jess. Jess breaks up with her, her mother and Lex disown her, and she gets really depressed and doesn't leave the house for two weeks.  
> thanks for reading!!!  
> follow me at maggiesawyering.tumblr.com for more screaming


	2. Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara auditions for a movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no trigger warning on this chapter! thanks for all the nice reviews and as always thanks to my amazing beta thescreamingbisexual.tumblr.com

Present day 

“Kara, that’s not fair, you can’t just refuse to sell any of your properties,” says Alex, holding up a thousand dollars in monopoly money. “I’m your _sister_ , doesn’t that mean anything?”

Kara shakes her head. “Nope. Nothing.”

“Come on, someone tell her that’s not fair,” says Alex.

Winn obliges. “Kara, that’s not fair.”

“I’m going to do it anyway,” Kara says, smiling.

Winn shrugs. “Well, I tried.”

Alex groans.

Despite the fact that Kara refuses to sell any properties for any sum of money, Alex wins Monopoly, just like she always does.

(“She’s gotta be cheating,” says Lucy.

“Agreed,” says James.

“Nope,” says Alex, waving her money around the table, “I’m just better than you.”)

After a very intense game of Twister, which Lucy wins, they sit on the couches in Kara’s apartment eating pizza.

“Mmm,” Kara moans, “I always forget how much I love Hawaiian pizza until I have it again. 

“That’s a sin. You know that, right, Kara?” says Winn, taking a bite of his slice of pizza. “Pineapple on pizza goes against what Jesus said.”

“Oh, shush, Winn,” says Lucy. “Firstly, you’re Jewish, and secondly, pineapple on pizza works. It’s like… French fries and smoothies.”

Kara nearly spits out her pizza. “That’s a thing?”

James laughs. “Oh, it’s very much a thing, but only to Lucy.”

“Hey!” she says, mock offense apparent on her face. “It’s good!”

“And I thought only Kara had questionable taste in food,” says Alex.

It’s Kara’s turn to say, “Hey!”

Alex shrugs. “I’m only telling the truth.”

“You guys are the worst,” says Winn.

“Yeah,” Kara agrees, “but we’re the best friends you’re gonna get.”

“Not true!” he says. “I could get tons of better friends.”

Alex scoffs. “Yeah? Who?”

Winn takes another bite of his pizza while he thinks of something to say. “Cat Grant seems to like me okay. 

Lucy sits up straighter on the couch. “You know Cat Grant?”

Winn smiles. “Sure do.”

“How?”

“She just so happens to be directing the movie I’m editing.”

James grabs another slice of pizza. “And what movie would that be?”

“Some LGBT film called ‘Every Heartbeat.’”

“What’s it about?” he asks through a mouthful of meat lovers pizza.

“So, it starts out with this straight couple, Jeremy and Sophie I think their names are, and they’re getting married, okay? So, Jeremy’s best woman and Sophie’s maid of honor are trying to make the wedding work and – get this – they start to fall in love. They finish the wedding, blah blah blah, they think they’re never gonna see each other again, until they get invited to the housewarming party and they totally hit it off, exchanging numbers and everything. So, Charlie – that’s the best woman – calls up Danny, the maid of honor, and they’re gonna get together until we find out that Danny already has a girlfriend, Lindsey.”

“Shit,” Alex says.

“Right? Okay, so they’re just friends, for now, but you see them slowly falling in love, and then one day when they’re gonna go get coffee or something together, Charlie gets hit by a car.”

Lucy swallows her pizza and says, “What? Out of nowhere?”

Winn nods. “Out of nowhere, Luce. So, Danny drops everything to be with her at the hospital and, when she sees the shape that Charlie is in, leaves to go break up with Lindsey because how could she not with the love of her life being so hurt? And so she and Charlie spend a lot of time with each other at the hospital and Charlie’s falling so hard but Danny doesn’t tell her that she’s broken up with Lindsey.”

Kara rolls her eyes. “Why not? That’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not! Hear me out. She doesn’t tell Charlie that she broke up with Lindsey because she thinks that Charlie has moved on, and, most importantly, she wants to give Charlie the space to heal and whatever. So, they keep going about their lives without knowing that they’re supposed to be together until Charlie is fully healed and starts talking about leaving for New York City for some promotion for her job.”

“What’s her job?” asks Kara.

“Something like a reporter, I think. But anyway, Charlie tells Danny over the phone and she’s about to go to the office and accept the promotion when Danny runs over to where she works and tries to stop her. And it’s raining, of course, to make it dramatic, and she confesses her love for Charlie.”

“And then they get together?” asks Alex.

“Yup. Then they get together. And the last scene is of them at a wedding, only this time it’s Danny and Charlie getting married instead of Jeremy and Sophie.”

Kara smiles. “That seems like a cute movie. I can’t wait to watch it.” She pokes Winn in the side. “I bet the editing will be great.”

Winn shoves her playfully. “Shut up, Kara.” He pauses for a second before saying, “You know, they still haven’t casted the leads, yet. I could totally get you an audition, if you wanted.”

Kara stops for a moment. “Hmm. I haven’t acted in a gay film in a while, you know.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” says Lucy. “I’m in a new project, James has just finished his last movie, Winn’s editing new things, hell, I bet Alex has some new science thing happening at the lab, too.”

Alex laughs. “Science things are happening at the lab, indeed.”

Winn pulls out his phone from his pocket. “I could text Cat right now, ask her when the next auditions are so I can have my good friend Kara Danvers come see her.”

“What the hell,” says Kara. “Why not?”

~

Kara has sat in a lot of waiting rooms before auditioning for roles, but she feels like this is probably the most nerve-wracking time. Cat Grant is the best director in National City, and she could make or break Kara’s entire career in seconds.

“Kara Danvers?” calls a woman with dark hair. Kara stands up. “Hi, I’m Siobhan Smythe, I’ll be auditioning you along with Ms. Grant.”

Kara nods. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Smythe.”

Siobhan gives a tight-lipped smile and leads Kara into a separate room where Cat Grant already waits, turned away from them.

“Shannon!” Cat yells. “Is the next person here yet?” Kara and Siobhan step into Cat’s line of sight as she says, “Oh, there you are.”

Kara gives her hand for Cat to shake, but she doesn’t, so Kara brings her hand down. “Hi,” she says, “I’m Kara Danvers, and I’ll be auditioning for the role of Charlie.”

It feels like Cat Grant is staring into Kara’s very soul when she says, “Go.”

“Hey,” says Kara, reciting from the script, “I’m Charlie.” She holds out her hand awkwardly as if to give it to someone to shake, even though no one is near enough to touch her. She sets it down after a second and wipes it on her pants, like it’s sweaty, which it kind of is.

“I’m Danny,” says Siobhan, reading from the script, though Kara thinks she probably has it memorized with how many times she’s had to read from it today.

“Danny! That’s kind of like a boy’s name. I mean, not kind of like, it _is_ a boy’s name. But then again, so is mine, you know?” says Kara, rambling. “It’s pretty, though. Like you. I mean –”

 “Did you need something?”

Kara reaches out to scratch the back of her neck. “Yeah. Hi. Yes! I did need something! As you know, or, well, maybe you don’t know, but as some people know, I’m Jeremy’s best man, even though I’m a woman, maybe it’s the boy name that I have, I don’t know, but you’re Sophie’s maid of honor, right?”

“Right.”

“Cool. Well, as you know, the wedding is going to start in a little bit and I can’t help but notice there aren’t any flowers here.”

“What do you mean there aren’t any flowers?”

“I mean there are supposed to be loads of peonies right here and I don’t see any.”

“Good,” says Siobhan, no longer reading from a script. “And then the part where Charlie confesses her feelings to Danny?”

Kara clears her throat. “Right.” She closes her eyes for a second, getting in to character, before she says, “Okay, so I know we haven’t known each other for that long. It’s been like two weeks, and we don’t know each other outside of Sophie and Jeremy but here’s the thing: I like you. Like, really like you. Like you make me feel these butterflies in my stomach that I haven’t felt in forever, that I thought I would never feel again, but I am, you know, feeling them. Again. You’re kind and smart and funny and you do this thing when you laugh where you scrunch up your nose and it makes all the butterflies in my stomach go wild, which is saying a lot because every time I look at you they’re already running wild, like they’re going to explode or something. Like I’m going to explode, I mean. Not that liking you is bad like an explosion would be, because explosions are bad, you know. Of course you know that. I’m stupid. You can stop me at any time, you know. Or, don’t. I don’t know which is better, because if you stop me then I don’t have to listen to myself speak any longer but then also you could be saying no, that you don’t like me, and I don’t know what I would do if that happened, which it might, and wow, how long have I been rambling? I’m going to stop now. Okay. I’m stopping. I’m stopped.” There’s a pause. “You’re not saying anything.”

“Charlie, I’m sorry, I have a girlfriend.”

“Oh.” She swallows and looks down at the floor. “That’s fine,” she says, voice breaking. “You know, I actually have an article due tomorrow, so I’m going to go.”

“Charlie, wait,” says Siobhan.

“I’ll see you later, Danny.”

“Great,” says Cat. “We’ll call you within a few days to let you know if you got the part or not.”

“Thank you so much, Ms. Grant. Ms. Smythe.”

~

It takes a week for Cat Grant to get back to Kara, and she spends most of the time pacing.

“Alex, what if she hated me?” asks Kara, biting her nails and pacing around the apartment.

Alex doesn’t put down her book. “She didn’t hate you, Kara. You’re impossible to hate.”

“Okay, but what if she did?”

“She didn’t.”

“But if she did!”

Alex sighs and sets down her book. “Kara, she didn’t hate you.” Kara opens her mouth to speak, but Alex doesn’t let her. “And if she did, who cares?”

“She could ruin my career, Alex.”

“Yeah, but why would she want to? What’s in it for her to ruin the career of some girl who auditioned for a part in her movie, who is, need I remind you, loved by thousands?”

Kara plops herself down on her couch. “Okay, yeah, but still. She could send one tweet – and poof. I’m done.”

Alex picks her book up and adjusts her glasses. “She won’t. Relax, watch a movie, call Winn, do something besides pacing around this apartment, okay?”

“Fine.”

It’s barely a second after Kara has grabbed the TV remote that her phone starts to ring. Kara looks over to Alex who has looked up from her book, eyes wide.

“Who is it?” she asks.

“Unknown number.”

“Answer it!" 

Kara scrambles for the phone and presses the accept button before saying, “Hello? I mean – Kara Danvers.”

Alex puts her face in her hands.

“Hello, Kara, this is Siobhan Smythe calling.”

“Yes, hi, hello.”

“I’m sorry it took us so long to get back to you.”

“No, pfft, don’t worry about it. I totally didn’t… worry about it.”

“Anyway, I’m here to offer you the part of Charlie Turner.”

Kara puts her hand over her phone and mouths to Alex “I got the part!” to which Alex gives a double-thumbs-up.

“Hmm, thank you, I think I’ll accept.”

“Great,” says Siobhan with not enough enthusiasm for Kara to really think it’s all that great. “Come by the studio ASAP to sign your contract, and we’ll tell you about filming schedules and everything.”

“Great! I’ll be there in thirty.”

“Great. Goodbye, Kara.”

“Goodbye!”

Kara hangs up the phone and jumps up. “I got the part!” she yells, not caring that her neighbors can probably hear her.

Alex gets up from her chair to hug her sister. “Congratulations! I think this calls for celebration.”

“Oh?”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” asks Alex.

“Are you thinking potstickers? Because I am.”

“Of course I am, Kara. Now, come on, let’s go get that contract signed.”

They leave the apartment with Alex’s arm slung over Kara’s shoulder, and Kara thinks this is what happiness feels like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to me at maggiesawyering.tumblr.com


	3. Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena auditions for a movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you go! shoutout to my amazing beta at thescreamingbisexual.tumblr.com bc she's fun to scream at and knows how to edit

There’s knocking on Lena’s door for what seems like ages before she gets the text from Jack.

[1:27 pm] Jack: open the door

“No,” she calls, knowing he can hear her.

He keeps knocking. 

“Go away!” she yells, cup of noodles in hand. She spoons noodles into her mouth and says, “I’m busy.”

Through the door, she can almost hear Jack roll his eyes. “Doing what?”

She looks down guiltily at the food. “Exercising.”

He bangs on the door a few more times. “God, Lena, just open up!”

“No.”

“I have butter pecan ice cream!”

Lena pauses for a moment before she sets down her cup of noodles and pads to the door. She opens it before saying, “I’m listening.”

Jack sighs. “God, Lena, you’re the worst, you know that, right? I’ve been outside for nearly ten minutes.”

Lena shrugs. “I was promised butter pecan ice cream, if I’m not mistaken.” 

“Ms. One Track Mind, here you go,” he says, pulling a pint of ice cream out of a plastic bag. “It might be a little melted since you made me wait outside for ages.”

“Well you buried the lead. Why would I willingly let you in my home if there wasn’t ice cream in it for me?”

“Maybe because I’m your best friend?” He clears his throat. “And I’m worried about you.”

Lena has since opened the drawer with the silverware and is now looking down at her spoons, avoiding Jack’s eyes. “And why would that be?”

“Lena,” he says, voice low. “It’s been six months. I don’t think you’ve really left this apartment except to buy groceries and alcohol since –”

Lena stiffens.

“Since all that happened,” he finishes. “Have you even looked at any auditions?”

Lena closes her eyes for a moment. “Why should I?”

“Lena.”

“Jack.”

“I know you’re convinced that everyone is awful just because your family was, but they’re not, I swear.”

“I’ve read the comments sections.”

Jack rolls his eyes. “The only people who care enough to comment on shit like that are people with something hateful in their hearts. Most people are not as cruel as you make them out to be.”

“Tell that to my mother.”

Jack sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not.”

“No, I am. I’m really, truly sorry about what happened with Lex and your mother, but the rest of the world isn’t as closed-minded as they are.”

“They call me Lesbian Luthor, Jack.”

“And they called me Jack Queer! People can be mean, but that doesn’t mean you have to let them get to you. And all of this? It’ll be over before you know it. You’ve gotta get out there. Date someone, audition for something, both?”

“How about neither?”

“Ha ha, very funny. Come on, you can do it. It’s been six months, Lena.”

“Maybe I need seven.” Lena sticks a spoon in her ice cream. “Even if I did look at any auditions, who would hire me? I’ve been out of the spotlight for six months now. Everyone I’d ever impressed has forgotten about me, and everyone who’s ever hated me never will.”

“Believe me,” says Jack, “people would hire you.” He pulls a plastic spoon out of his bag and opens up his pint of moose tracks. “Worst case scenario, you go for some indie movies while you start up again.” He takes a bite. “Mm!” he says, mouth full. “You could audition for the movie I just got cast in.”

“Oh?” 

“Mhm, it’s great. It’s being directed by Cat Grant –”

“Cat Grant?”

“Yup.”

“Jack,” she says, patting his back, “that’s great! Cat Grant is the best director in the city!”

“Exactly. She’s great and you’re great and you’d do great together. They’re still working on casting the leads.”

“I don’t think Cat Grant will want me on her movie.”

“Sure she will,” says Jack.

“What’s it called, anyway?”

“‘Every Heartbeat.’”

“Hmm. And what’s it about?”

Jack scratches his neck. “Well, it’s about these two girls… and they fall in love –”

Lena sighs. “So it’s a gay movie.”

“Is it? I mean, you could call it that, I guess.”

“So you’re saying it’s a total coincidence that the movie is about lesbians.”

“Yeah, of course. I know tons of movies about lesbians. Tons of people star in movies about lesbians.”

“Yeah? Name two movies about lesbians.”

Jack takes a bite of his ice cream, trying to stall. Eventually he says, “Okay, so I don’t know any movies about lesbians.”

“Mhm.”

“But I think this’ll be really good for you. I heard about it from this guy I went on a date with.”

“How’d he hear about it?”

“He’s editing it, or something like that. Anyway, I think it’ll be great for you to try out, at the very least. You haven’t done any work in half a year. Why not come back with a gay film? Tell everyone that you’re out and don’t care who knows it?”

“But, Jack, the thing is that I do care who knows it. If it were up to me, I’d still be in the closet.”

“But it’s not up to you, because you’re out. You’re out and there’s nothing you can do to change it now. So why not make the best of it?”

“Jack–”

“No, seriously! Think about how cool it would be to star in this movie. Firstly, you and I would be cast mates for the first time since Sunset, and secondly, you’d get to explore this side of yourself a little.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“What if my mother sees it?”

“So what if she sees it? She’s out of your life, Lena. You can’t let her control you.”

Lena pauses. “I guess not.”

“So you’ll audition?”

“I don’t know, Jack.”

“Come on, Lena. Please?” 

There’s another pause before Lena says, “Alright, I’ll do it.”

“Yes!”

~

Lena hasn’t spoken to her driver in six months. Why would she, since she hasn’t left the house except to go to the grocery store down the street? So when she does call him, she doesn’t know if she expects him to pick up. He does, though.

“Hello?”

“Leo, hi. It’s Lena.”

“Lena?”

“Luthor. Lena Luthor.”

He laughs. “I know who you are, Ms. Luthor. You were a very loyal customer. It’s just that it’s been so long.”

“Yes, I suppose it has.”

There’s a moment of silence where she half expects him to say something, but he doesn’t, so she continues.

“Anyway, I was hoping that you’re not too busy to drive me somewhere today?”

“Of course. I’ll be there right away.”

“Thank you, Leo.”

“You’re welcome.” Lena almost hangs up the phone before he says, “Oh, and Ms. Luthor?”

“Yes?”

“I’m very sorry about what happened to you.”

Lena sucks in a breath.

“I sent you flowers, after it happened. I don’t know if you got them.”

“I got them. Thank you. I didn’t know how to say it before, but thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Ms. Luthor.”

“Goodbye, Leo.”

~

Lena sits in what looks like a doctor’s office waiting room for a little over twenty minutes, but it feels like forever. Eventually, a woman with dark hair comes out and says, “Lena Luthor?” so she stands up. “I'm Siobhan Smythe. Come with me,” says the woman. 

They walk to another room with a table in it where a blonde woman that Lena knows must be Cat Grant sits. She’s on her phone at the moment, and she doesn’t look up until Lena says, “Hi, I’m Lena Luthor, and I’ll be auditioning for the part of Danny.”

It’s at that moment that Cat looks up and raises her eyebrows. “Lena Luthor?”

Lena nods. “That’s me.”

“The Lena Luthor that got terribly and very publicly, might I add, outed six months ago?”

Lena grimaces. “That’s me,” she says again.

“Excuse me,” Cat says before she turns to Siobhan and whispers just loudly enough for Lena to hear. “Maybe this could be a good marketing tactic, hiring gay actors for this film. I have a great idea actually with the actors who get hired eventually. I’ll tell you about it later.”

Siobhan just nods.

Cat Grant turns to Lena and says, “Okay, you may proceed.”

Lena clears her throat. “Right. So, as I said, I’m Lena Luthor, and I’ll be auditioning for the role of Danny.”

“Go,” says Cat.

Lena takes a deep breath. “Sophie, relax. Everything is gonna go great.” She raises her eyebrows as if to say, ‘okay?’

“What if it doesn’t?” asks Siobhan. “What if everything goes awfully wrong and we all die?”

Lena rolls her eyes. “Okay, I think you’re being a little dramatic. Everyone is going to die? I feel like a few people would survive, at least.”

“Danny.”

“Sophie.”

“I’m serious! What if Jeremy doesn’t want to marry me?”

“Jeremy is crazy about you. Have you seen the way he looks at you? It’s like…” She pauses, as if she’s trying to find the right way to phrase the next part of her sentence. “He looks at you like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. Like you’re the only thing holding him to the earth, you know?" 

“No, I don’t.”

“You know that soulmate crap? Stories where you’re tied to your soulmate by a little red string? Well, he looks at you like that. Like you’re tied up in a million of his strings and he couldn’t be luckier. He looks at you like nothing in this world has ever been so bad that it’s irreparable because it made you. He looks at you like you’re the only bit of sunshine he’s ever seen, and he doesn’t even care that looking too closely can hurt his eyes because it means he gets to see you. People could write full-length novels about the way he looks at you, Sophie. I’m serious.”

“Okay. Okay, okay, okay. He loves me.”

“He does,” says Lena, nodding.

“But does he really?”

Lena groans. “Yes, God, he does. I’d give anything to love someone the way he loves you, and for her to love me the way you do him. You two are perfect for each other.”

“You’re right. I don’t know why I’m freaking out. We love each other, and that’s all that matters.”

“Exactly. Now, you’re going to put on your heels and walk out there and get married, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

When Lena looks up, Cat Grant is smiling and nodding at her. “Great,” she says. “Now, the confession scene?”

“Right,” says Lena. She shakes out her hands and clenches them for a moment before saying. “Charlie, wait!”

“Danny, what are you doing here? It’s pouring rain,” says Siobhan.

“You can’t take the job.”

“What? Why not?”

“You just can’t.” Lena’s hands are clenched at her side, like this is the hardest thing she’s ever had to say. 

“This is a great opportunity for me. This will do wonders for my career, and it’s not like there’s anything holding me here anymore.”

“But there should be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean there should be something holding you here in Star City. I should be what’s holding you here.” Lena takes a shaky breath. “I’m in love with you. I’m in the kind of love that people write songs about. I’m in the exploding butterflies kind of love,” she says, laughing. “I’m in the kind of love you don’t get over.”

“You’re with Lindsey.”

“But I’m not, Charlie. I broke up with her.”

“When?”

A tear slips down Lena’s cheek. “The day we got in the accident. There was blood everywhere and I couldn’t tell if you were still breathing or not and the only thing I could think was that I would do anything if you would just live. And you did. You lived, and I saw you on that hospital bed and you laughed and told me that I couldn’t get rid of you that easily. I didn’t believe in miracles before that, but I do now. I do now because it was a miracle that you lived and a miracle that you liked me and a miracle that we met, because I love you, I love you, I love you. So, please, tell me it’s not too late.”

There’s a moment of silence before Cat starts a slow clap and says, “You got the part. It’s yours.”

“Excuse me?” says Lena, leaning forward like she didn’t hear what Cat said because she couldn’t have. That couldn’t be what she said.

“The part is yours if you want it. That was, hands down, the best audition I’ve ever seen. What did you think?” she asks, turning to the woman beside her.

“I think you’re right. Good job, Lena.”

Lena is speechless for a moment. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Do you accept?”

“I – Yes. Yes, I accept.” 

Cat claps her hands and laughs. “Great. Now, let’s get you a contract to sign.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ok ok i promise that lena and kara meet in the next chapter it's all good no one freak out  
> come talk to me about my bb lena luthor at maggiesawyering.tumblr.com


	4. Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena go in for the table read and get some surprising news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kara and lena are finally meeting!!!  
> as always shoutout to my amazing beta at thescreamingbisexual.tumblr.com

By the time Kara makes it to the table read, Alex at her side, most everyone else has already arrived. A cast of people sit at a round table, scripts in front of them, chatting quietly. Cat Grant sits directly across from the door and smiles when Kara walks in.

“Kara, you’re here!” she says, gesturing to the two empty seats across from her

“Here?” asks Kara, looking at the seat.

“Yes, sit down.”

She and Alex oblige. It takes a moment, but then she realizes that she’s sitting next to Lena Luthor.

She isn’t sure she recognizes her, at first. She looks different than she did in the press six months ago. Kara can’t pinpoint anything that’s changed, but she knows there’s something. Kara wonders if it’s maybe the way she carries herself. With a life-changing event like being outed as Lena was, she figures you start carrying yourself at least a little differently.

She leans in to Alex and whispers, “We’re sitting next to Lena Luthor.”

Alex furrows her brow. “Who?” 

“Lena Luthor, the one who got very publicly outed a few months ago?”

There’s a moment of silence before Alex whispers back, “Oh, the girl you went on about? ‘Alex, I feel so bad for her. Alex, that could’ve been me. Alex, why is she so cute?’”

Kara hits her on the shoulder. “I did not say that!” 

“Well you might as well have. You were crushing on her hardcore.”

“Was not!”

“Were too.”

“Shut up.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes, Kara just looking around at everyone and Alex stealing glances at the script. Eventually, a woman with black hair and dimples walks in, smiling. Kara hears Alex’s breath hitch, and when she looks over at her she can see her eyes are locked with the woman’s.

The woman doesn’t take her eyes off of Alex for a moment. When she eventually does, she says to Cat, “Sorry I’m late.”

“You’re here now, I guess,” Cat replies. She claps her hands and addresses the room. “Alright, ladies and gentlemen. We’re going to go around the circle and introduce each other because we’re all going to be spending a lot of time with each other.”

Alex leans over to Kara and says, “Remind you of anything? Kindergarten, maybe?”

Cat locks her gaze on Alex. “Sorry, am I boring you?” 

Alex shakes her head. “No, ma’am.” 

“Ma’am? Really? We’re not in the old west.” She pauses for a moment. “I don’t remember hiring you. Who the hell are you?”

Kara raises her hand. “Sorry, Ms. Grant, that’s my sister. She insisted on coming along.”

Alex kicks Kara under the table and waits for Cat to turn back to the rest of the group before whispering, “Did not! You didn’t want to go alone!” 

“Shh, she’s talking.” 

Alex rolls her eyes.

“Anyway…. You,” Cat says, pointing at Siobhan.

Siobhan clears her throat. “I’m Siobhan Smythe, assistant director of the movie.”

“Next?” asks Cat.

“Lucas Carr. I wrote the script.” 

“Maxwell Lord. Studio executive.”

“Leslie Willis. Producer.”

The woman with the dimples is up next. “Maggie Sawyer. I play Sophie.” (Kara swears she hears Alex sigh.)

“I’m Veronica Sinclair. I’m playing Lindsey.”

“Jack Spheer, here. I’m Jeremy.”

“I’m Lena Luthor. I’m playing Danny.”

Kara bites her lip. So that’s her Danny.

“Kara Danvers. I’m Charlie.”

Lena looks at Kara like she’s thinking the exact same thing.

Alex chuckles awkwardly. “Sorry, hi, I’m just Kara’s number one fan. Not part of the movie. You can go on.” She glances over at Maggie, who is smiling back at her, and then looks down, blushing.

A few more people state their names and their minor roles in the movie, but Kara can’t really focus on much with how Alex is whispering critiques of the script in her ear. 

“Hmm. Okay,” says Cat when they’ve all finished. “We’ll start reading the script now, if that’s alright with everyone?” She looks at Alex like she’s daring her to disagree, but Alex says nothing. “Right.” She clears her throat and sets her glasses to rest on her nose. “Act one, scene one. Danny and Sophie stand in the dressing room, Sophie in a wedding dress and Danny in a pink one.” 

“Sophie,” says Lena, sounding like she’s said this a million times before, “relax. Everything is gonna go great.”

Maggie takes a deep breath. “What if it doesn’t? What if everything goes awfully wrong and we all die?”

Lena gives Maggie a shit-eating grin.“Okay, I think you’re being a little dramatic. _Everyone_ is going to die? I feel like a few people would survive, at least."

“Danny,” says Maggie in a stern voice.

“Sophie,” Lena says in the same tone.

“I’m serious! What if Jeremy doesn’t want to marry me?” 

“Jeremy is crazy about you. Have you seen the way he looks at you?” Lena pauses, like she’s imagining it. “It’s like… He looks at you like rest of the world doesn’t exist. Like you’re the only thing holding him to the earth, you know?”

“No, I don’t.”

“You know that soulmate crap?” Lena says it like she’s never heard anything more ridiculous than the idea of each person having someone meant for them. “Stories where you’re tied to your soulmate by a little red string? Well, he looks at you like that. Like you’re tied up in a million of his strings, and he couldn’t be luckier. He looks at you like nothing in this world has ever been so bad that it’s irreparable because it made you. He looks at you like you’re the only bit of sunshine he’s ever seen, and he doesn’t even care that looking too closely can hurt his eyes because it means he gets to see you. People could write full-length novels about the way he looks at you, Sophie. I’m serious.”

There’s a pause where Maggie is supposed to be saying her line, but she isn’t. They wait for about twenty seconds before Kara looks up to see Maggie staring at her sister. Cat says, “Maggie, are you with us?”

“Hm?” asks Maggie, tearing her eyes away from Alex, whose head is still down, looking at the script.

“It’s your line.”

“What? Oh!” She takes a deep breath before saying, hurriedly, “Okay. Okay, okay, okay. He loves me.”

Lena shakes her head and looks back down at her script before saying, “He does.” 

“But does he really?”

Lena groans. “Yes, God, he does. I’d give anything to love someone the way he loves you, and for her to love me the way you do him.” (Kara notes the way Lena’s voice cracks when she says ‘her.’) “You two are perfect for each other,” she continues.

“You’re right. I don’t know why I’m freaking out. We love each other, and that’s all that matters.”

“Exactly. Now, you’re going to put on your heels and walk out there and get married, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Blackout,” says Cat. “Act one, scene two. Charlie and Jeremy stand in a dressing room, both Jeremy and Charlie in tuxedos." 

They continue like that for what seems like forever. Charlie comforts Jeremy, Charlie and Danny meet, they run to get flowers from a shop and realize that they’re enjoying each other’s company, and the wedding happens. They go their separate ways until Jeremy and Sophie have a housewarming party and Danny and Charlie get invited. They exchange phone numbers, they flirt, then Danny is dating Lindsey and there are scenes where Kara tries not to stare while Lena pretends to be in love.

(She wonders if Lena’s been in love since she was outed – she’s been out of the press, but does that mean she’s been sitting at home and doing nothing? Kara hopes not. Lena is too good to hide herself away like that.)

It seems like everything is going to be like that forever, but Kara remembers what happens next. She tries to act like she’s been hurt when they get to the car crash scene, but mostly she just laughs along with Alex while Lena rolls her eyes and hides a chuckle. (Cat Grant doesn’t seem to mind that they’re not taking it seriously, either, though for what reason, Kara doesn’t know.) There’s one scene at the hospital where Charlie doesn’t say anything because she’s supposed to be in a coma, but Danny talks to her and says the most romantic things that could ever pass her lips. (Kara wonders what it would be like to be on the receiving end of those words for real.) Danny and Lindsey break up after that, but Danny says nothing and nurses Charlie back to health. Charlie gets a job offer, and she’s about to leave until Danny catches her as she’s walking to take the job and confesses her feelings. They show the beginnings of them about to sleep with each other, which Kara realizes will be awkward to film even without the prospect of nudity, and they wake up in a bed, in love.

“Act two, scene twelve,” says Cat. “Charlie waits at the end of the aisle in a suit. Danny, clad in a beautiful dress, has her father walk her down the aisle to meet her fiancée.”

“Wow,” says Kara, breathless, “you look beautiful.” 

Lena just smiles. “So do you.”

“No, I’m serious. You look… so beautiful.”

“You said that already, Charlie,” Lena says teasingly.

“Well I’ll say it again. You look beautiful.” She pauses for a moment, and she imagines she would reach her hand out to hold Lena’s if they were actually filming. “I mean it.” 

The guy who’s playing the priest clears his throat. “Can we begin the ceremony now?”

“Hmm?” Lena says, as if she was distracted by Kara. “Yes. Yes, you can.”

He clears his throat again. “We gather here today to unite Charlie Turner and Danny Lewis in marriage. Their decision to marry has not been entered into lightly, and today, they publicly declare their private devotion to each other. Do you, Danny, pledge to share your life openly with your wife, and to speak the truth in love? Do you promise to honor and tenderly care for her, cherish and encourage her, stand together, though sorrows and joys, hardships and triumphs, for the rest of your life?”

“I do,” says Lena.

“And do you, Charlie, pledge –”

“I do!” says Kara. “I do. I do.”

The priest laughs. “I hear you have your own vows?”

Kara nods. “We do. Can I go first?”

“Go ahead,” he says. 

Kara takes a shuddering breath. “Danny.” She stops, like she would if she were looking into Lena’s eyes. (They’re incredibly green, Kara had pointed out before. Like, really green.) “I love you. I know I say that all the time, on birthdays and anniversaries and at night while we brush our teeth and in the morning while we drink coffee and during the day when I call you on your lunch break, but I mean it. I’ve meant it every time I’ve ever said it, which is all the time. If my love for you were to double, something in the universe would probably break, because as it is I’m at the very limits of how much one person can love another.”

“Charlie,” says Lena, like she’s on the verge of tears.

“No, I’m not done. I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you, and I’m beyond grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. When we’re old and grey and I can’t see and you can’t hear, I’m still going to love you. I love you more than you could ever know. I love you.” She exhales. “Okay, I’m done.” 

The priest takes a breath. “And you?” 

Lena gives a wet laugh. “How can I top that?” She pauses, closing her eyes, and then opens them again. “I remember the first day I met you. I saw you there, and I forgot everything. You started rambling about your name, and I thought, ‘wow, what a dork.’”

“Hey!” says Kara, mock offended.

“I’m telling the truth! I thought, ‘wow, what a dork,’ and then I thought, ‘wow, what a pretty dork.’ You started talking about flowers, and I was freaking out because everything was going wrong, but somehow, I felt calm around you. You’ve always made me feel better, even from the very first moment I knew you. We ran to go buy peonies from the store then, and you held my hand like I was going to fall if you didn’t – which, to be fair, I might have, since I was wearing some pretty tall heels. But you held my hand, and it felt right, like everything in the world had lead up to that. We didn’t get together until months later, but for all those months I knew you and didn’t get to hold your hand again, I was always thinking about it. I was always thinking about how warm your palm felt in mine and how your fingers gripped me perfectly and how I could never get that feeling back. And now I have that feeling all the time, because even when you’re not there physically, I can tell you’re always holding my hand. No matter what. So, I’m just glad I get to spend the rest of my life holding my best friend’s hand.”

Maggie interjects, “Hey!”

“Sorry, Sophie, you don’t give me exploding butterflies.”

Kara bursts out laughing.

“What?” asks Maggie.

“It’s an inside joke, Soph. You wouldn’t get it,” says Lena. “Really, though, Charlie. I’m getting to spend the rest of forever with you, and nothing could make me happier.”

The priest smiles. “May these rings be blessed as a symbol of your union. As often as either of you look upon these rings, may you not only be reminded of this moment, but also of the vows you have made and the strength of your commitment to each other. Danny, please repeat after me. I, Danny.”

“I, Danny.”

“Promise to love and support you, Charlie.” 

“Promise to love and support you, Charlie.

“And live each day with kindness.”

“And to live each day with kindness.”

“Truth.”

“Truth.”

“Humor.”

“Humor.”

“And passion.”

“And passion.”

“With this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed.”

“Now, Charlie, repeat after me. I, Charlie –”

“I, Charlie, promise to love and support you, Danny, and live each day with kindness, understanding, truth, humor, and passion. With this ring I thee wed,” says Kara, words gushing out.

“Are you going to beat me to everything here?” 

“Probably.”

“Go now in peace, and live in love, sharing the most precious gifts you have – the gifts of your lives united. May your days be long on this earth. I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Cat starts to clap. “Danny and Charlie kiss, zoom out on the wedding, end movie. That was excellent, everyone! Give yourselves a round of applause!” 

Alex claps for Kara, who just blushes. She tries not to look at Lena, who is also blushing because Jack is clapping for her.

“I’d like the leads to come up here for a moment, please,” says Cat.

“What for?” Alex says to no one in particular. Kara just shrugs and walks up to Cat.

Maggie, Jack, Lena, and Kara gather around Cat as she says, “I’d like to take you all out to dinner, on me, to celebrate getting started with the movie. Is that alright?"

The group nods. 

“Great! Go get your things.” 

Kara and Lena start to leave to gather their belongings, but Cat stops them. “Not you two.” 

Lena furrows her brows. “Is there something wrong, Ms. Grant?”

“No, no. It’s just that I have something to ask of you. It’s not a favor, not really, because it’s in your contracts and you have to comply, but I’d like it if you were cooperative.”

“Cooperative in what?” asks Kara.

“It’s to generate buzz for the movie, you must understand. Once the movie has aired, you don’t need to continue with it." 

“Continue with what?” asks Lena.

“Dating. As of right now, you two are dating.”

There’s a moment of silence before both of them say, “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come follow me at maggiesawyering.tumblr.com and talk to me!


	5. Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena get to know each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to my amazing beta thescreamingbisexual on tumblr!

“You heard me,” says Cat. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to pretend to date for a little while. God knows you’ll do fine with pretending.”

Lena cocks an eyebrow. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing! Just that, since both of you are gay–”

“Actually, I’m bi,” says Kara.

“–Part of the LGBT community, you have experience pretending to be someone you’re not. Lena especially. I can’t imagine keeping such a huge secret for so long." 

Lena swallows down a mixture of shame and rage. Kara, however, doesn’t. “Ms. Grant,” she says, “it’s really not your place to say anything. That’s no one’s place but Lena’s.”

Lena feels butterflies in her stomach for a moment. For just a moment, she thinks that Kara knows her name because she cared enough to pay attention, until she remembers that everyone knows her name. How could anyone forget?

“Alright, maybe it’s not my place. All I know is that it’s in your contracts that you have to pretend to be in a relationship until I say you don’t have to – which will be a month after the movie airs.”

Lena feels like she’s going to be sick. The last time she was in a relationship, everything went to hell. She’s just coming back from that. How can she date again so soon, even if it is just pretend?

“And if we say no?” asks Kara, looking over at Lena with worry in her eyes.

“Then I guess I’ll need to talk to my lawyers.”

Kara nods. She looks over to Lena for confirmation that she can say yes, so Lena nods.

“Great!” says Cat. “I’ll see you all at Moretti’s in ten?”

Lena nods. Kara says, “I trust I can bring my sister with me?”

Cat raises her eyebrow, but says, “Sure.” She walks over to Siobhan and starts discussing something very serious-looking.

Kara turns to her, eyes apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know this was going to happen.”

Lena straightens her back. “No, of course. I didn’t know it was going to happen, either. I guess we were both shocked by the news.”

“If you’re not okay with it, I’m sure we can do something, right?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with it? I mean, I’m just as fine with it as you are.”

“You are?” Kara tilts her head to the side. “I just meant that with everything that happened to you, you know, being outed–” 

“Well, I’m fine. I’ll see you at the restaurant?”

Kara seems stunned, but she says, “Yeah,” all the same.

~ 

Lena cries on the car ride to the restaurant. Jack has seen Lena in a lot of bad situations, but usually they happen before he can get to her. Usually she’s mostly cried out by the time she sees him. This time, however, is not ‘usually.’

She gets in the car after Jack does, face blank.

“What did Cat want to talk about?” he asks.

“She told us… she told us that…”

“What? What’s wrong?” 

“We have to date.”

Jack pauses, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean we have to pretend to date to get publicity for the movie. Great headlines, right? ‘Recently Outed Lena Luthor, Star of the New Movie ‘Every Heartbeat’ Dating Costar, Kara Danvers.’ It’ll create lots of buzz.” She sets her head in her hands.

“Lena…”

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Lena starts crying.

“I don’t know what to do, Jack,” she says in between sobs.

He just rubs her back. “I know.” 

“I’m still not over Jess. I’m still not over what happened. I’m not ready.” 

“I know.” 

“I can’t even quit without facing a lawsuit because I signed a contract.” 

She hears Jack sigh. “How can I help?”

Lena is silent for a moment. “I don’t know.”

~

By the time they get to the restaurant, Lena has dried her tears on Jack’s shirt and reapplied her mascara so no one can tell what has just occurred in the car. They walk into Moretti’s, Lena on Jack’s arm, faces cold.

“Lena, Jack, darlings!” says Cat from across the room. “We’re sitting over here.”

Lena looks to Jack, who nods. “We’ll be right there,” he says, but it’s quiet enough that Lena wonders if Cat can even hear it. Regardless of if she does, Cat sits down. Jack leans down to look at Lena and says, “You’re okay. You can do this.” She just nods and walks forward to the table.

She sits down at the circular table in between Jack and Maggie, who is sitting next to Kara’s sister, with Cat on Jack’s other side and Kara in between her and her sister.

“Lovely,” says Cat. “I’m glad we’re all here.” She glances at Lena first, then Kara, before saying, “Actually, Lena, switch seats with me.”

“Why?” asks Lena.

Cat just smiles and leans in closer to Lena before saying, “It will give you a chance to grow closer to Kara.”

Lena swallows down tears, which Kara seems to notice. She gets up to sit in Cat’s seat, and she sees Kara lift her hand like she’s going to rest it on her thigh, but she decides against it.

“I’m sorry,” she says instead.

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know. I’m still sorry.”

Jack clears his throat. “So, is everyone excited for this movie?”

There’s a hum of approval from the group.

“Very. I’m incredibly grateful to get to play your wife,” says Maggie, laughing.

(Lena can’t tell if she’s imagining it when she sees Kara’s sister slump her shoulders.) 

“The feeling is mutual,” says Jack. “Wait, I mean husband. Not wife. Obviously.”

Lena laughs, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“I, for one,” says Kara, “am just grateful to be a part of such an amazing cast.”

“Me too,” says Maggie. “Especially since this amazing cast makes for great company. You too, Alex.”

Alex blushes and chokes out, “Thanks.”

Maggie smiles back at her. “No problem.”

A waiter comes up to them and says, “Hi, I’m John. I’ll be your server for the evening. Can I start you all out with drinks?”

“I’ll have some Chardonnay,” says Cat.

“Water,” says Lena.

Maggie hums. “I think I’ll have a Coke.”

“I’m sorry,” says John, “we don’t have Coke. Is Pepsi okay?”

“No, I’ll just have a water then.”

“Water for me,” says Jack.

“Me too,” says Kara. 

“Same,” says Alex.

John scurries off to the kitchen to fetch their drinks.

“God,” says Cat. “Don’t any of you like to have fun?”

~ 

The night goes surprisingly well. Kara and Lena chat with Jack while Maggie and Alex seem lost in their own little world. Cat is happy to chime in on either conversation when she deems it necessary, but mostly just sits and listens.

“Lena is an awful swimmer, Kara, you wouldn’t even believe it,” says Jack, laughing. “After Sunset wrapped, we went to our co-star’s pool, and it was awful.”

“I didn’t want it to be awful!” says Lena. “I was going to just lie in the sun and hope no one asked me to swim, but _no_ , Jack just _had_ to pull me into the pool.”

“You gave me a heart attack when I did! I pulled Lena in and she started thrashing around. I thought she couldn’t swim.”

“I thought if you thought I was drowning, you’d think twice about pulling innocent people into the pool next time.”

“Innocent? You’re in no way innocent, Lena Luthor.”

“She’s not?” asks Kara. “I’d certainly like to hear about how Lena is guilty.”

“Oh, Jack, don’t tell her,” pleads Lena.

“Well, now you have to!”

“Okay,” says Jack, “so, Lena looks like she’d never do anything wrong in her life, right?”

“Mhm,” Kara hums.

“The first day of set, I thought so too. Every day I’d bring my lunch in and put it in the fridge, right? It was all good and fine until one day I brought in leftover Chinese food. I go to the fridge during my lunch break, and guess what I found.” 

“What?”

“Well, I’ll tell you what I didn’t find: my lunch. Instead, I found a hundred-dollar bill that said ‘sorry’ on it inside the container I had put my food in.”

Lena puts her head in her hands. “I was hungry!”

Jack continues. “I thought it was really weird, but I was one hundred dollars richer, so I bought lunch instead. The weirdest thing was that it kept happening. Every time I brought in something good for lunch, it’d be replaced with a hundred-dollar bill by lunch time. Lena and I were becoming good friends, and I had no idea who it was, so I set up a camera in the fridge and found out it was her.”

“So, how’d you confront her?” asks Kara.

“He didn’t!” says Lena. “He didn’t confront me at all! He just kept bringing in good food and letting me take it. He kept dropping hints that he knew I was stealing his food, but –”

“She didn’t know who she was stealing from. I just made subtle hints that I knew what she was doing until she finally confessed that she had been stealing someone’s food.”

“I still didn’t know it was him, though. I thought I was confessing my sins to a completely neutral third party.”

“Nope.”

Kara laughs. “When did you finally tell her?”

“I didn’t,” says Jack. “I paid for dinner with a hundred-dollar bill with ‘sorry’ written on it.”

Lena shoves Jack. “What an asshole, right? Making me go through all of that guilt.”

“I wasn’t the one committing theft!"

There’s a moment of silence before Kara says, “So, you guys are like best friends.”

Jack shakes his head. “No, I could never be best friends with this asshole.”

“Fuck off,” says Lena, smiling.

“I’m only kidding, you know that. She’s been there for me through everything.” He pulls her close and presses a kiss to her forehead, beaming. “What a fucking nerd.”

Across the table, Maggie takes a sip of her water and continues with her and Alex’s debate.

“No, I’m serious. Bonsais are the best types of trees,” says Maggie.

“Really?” asks Alex. “Don’t you think it’s a little weird that they’re so small?”

“No, listen, that’s the best part. They can fit anywhere. How cool is it that you can fit a whole tree inside your home?”

“Are you forgetting Christmas trees?”

Maggie rolls her eyes. “Okay, Christmas trees are awful for the environment, first of all, and second of all, they take up so much room that it’s a wonder anyone buys them at all.” 

“So, what I’m hearing is you don’t like Christmas.”

Maggie laughs like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard.

At the end of the night, Kara stands next to Lena and says, “This was fun.”

“Yeah,” agrees Lena, “it was.”

“I’m glad my Danny isn’t awful to be around.”

“Not awful to be around? What a great compliment,” Lena teases.

“You know what I mean,” says Kara, laughing. “I’m glad you’re my Danny.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re my Charlie.”

“Good.” Kara smiles at her shoes. “I guess I’ll see you on set, then? Or, whenever Cat has us doing… whatever.”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll see you then.”

Kara hesitates for a moment, but then she’s pressing her lips to Lena’s cheek, and Lena feels blood rush to it immediately. “Goodbye, Lena.”

Kara walks off to the front of the restaurant to her sister, and Lena brings her hand up to where Kara just kissed her. “Goodbye, Kara,” she says, more to herself than anything.

It takes a few seconds for Jack to get away from where Cat is talking to him, but he does. “You’re blushing, Lena.”

Lena doesn’t move her eyes from Kara. “Am I?”

Jack laughs. “Maybe this won’t be so bad after all, right?”

“This? This what?”

“The whole fake-dating thing?” he says, lowering his voice so Cat can’t hear.

Lena tears her eyes away from Kara to look over at Jack, who is looking at her with concern. “Right. Maybe not.”

“You’re going to be okay, Lena.”

Lena just nods, focusing her attention back on Kara, who’s pulling her sister away from Maggie to leave. “Yeah, maybe I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me at maggiesawyering on tumblr


	6. Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara go on their first "date"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took forever to update. writers block is a thing.  
> as always shoutout to my awesome beta thescreamingbisexual on tumblr

Kara wakes up the next morning to a text message from Cat Grant.

[9:37 am] Cat Grant: I made reservations at Sushi Yasuda for you and Lena for lunch at noon. Pick her up at her apartment. People must think you’re on a first date. Filming will start at 1:30.

[9:39 am] Kara Danvers: will do ms. grant

She sits up in her bed and runs her hands through her hair before opening a new text to Lena Luthor.

[9:40 am] Kara: hey lena it’s kara! i just texted to say that ms. grant made a reservation for us at a new sushi place for lunch. hope that’s ok? i’ll pick you up at 11:30 at your apartment, cool? 

It doesn’t take long to get a text back. 

[9:41 am] Lena: Sure, that sounds great.

[9:41 am] Kara: great :)

Kara makes the most of the beginning of her day. She makes some pancakes, takes a shower, and calls Alex, like she does every morning.

(“Guess who I’m taking out to lunch today,” Kara says after Alex has picked up.

“I’m going to guess Lena, since that’s who you’re supposed to be fake dating.”

“Shh! Keep it down! People are supposed to think we’re actually dating. Ms. Grant will kill us if anyone finds out it’s not real.”

“Relax, Kara, I don’t think anyone at the lab really cares who my kid sister fake-dates.”)

~

[11:28 am] Kara: hey lena i’m outside when you’re ready. sorry i’m early

[11:29 am] Lena: No problem, you’re like two minutes ahead of schedule. I’ll be outside in a second.

A minute later Lena steps outside, looking around for the car Kara is in.

Kara opens the window to yell, “Lena, over here!” and Lena nods.

She gets in the car and runs her hands along her skirt before saying, “Hello, Kara.”

“Hi, Lena.” Kara claps her hands and says to the driver, “Okay, Marcus, we’re ready.” 

Marcus nods and puts the car in drive.

“I hope you like sushi,” says Kara.

Lena smiles. “I do. Do you?”

“One thing you’ll learn about me is that I like everything.”

“I never would’ve guessed it,” says Lena, looking Kara up and down.

“Good metabolism,” Kara says simply.

“That’s lucky.” Lena takes a deep breath and looks out the window. 

“Are you okay?”

Lena furrows her brows and looks over at Kara. “Of course I am. Why?”

Kara hesitates. “You seem sad.” 

“I’m not.”

“Okay. I just want to make sure you’re okay with… all of this,” she says, looking at Marcus as she says it. Marcus doesn’t look back.

“I’m fine. Besides, even if I wasn’t, it’s not like there’s anything we can do about it.”

“You’re right,” says Kara. “I just want to help.”

“I don’t need any help.” 

“Okay.”

They sit in silence for the rest of the car ride.

Kara knows they have to talk when they get to the restaurant, but she doesn’t say anything until Lena does.

“Thank you, Marcus,” says Lena as she steps out of the car. 

“Yeah, thank you,” repeats Kara.

Marcus just nods and says, “Call me when you need a ride to the studio.”

“Will do.”

Marcus drives away, and Kara looks at Lena, who is already looking at her smiling. (If Kara didn’t know any better, she’d think it was genuine, but Lena looked too upset in the car for it to be.)

“Shall we?” asks Lena, gesturing toward the door.

“We shall.”

They walk in together, and a woman at the front desk nods when she sees them, pulling out menus. 

“Are you Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor?” she asks. 

Kara says, “That’s us.”

“Right this way.”

She leads them to a table, and Kara pulls out Lena’s chair for her.

“Why thank you, Ms. Danvers,” says Lena, smiling. 

“Anything for you, Ms. Luthor.” She retreats to her own chair and raises her eyebrows. “Ms. Grant definitely called in favors to get us in here, what do you think?”

Lena looks around the room and nods. “I’d say so.”

Kara opens the menu and sticks her tongue out, reading carefully. After a moment, she says, “What do you think has the most food in it?”

Lena laughs, though it doesn’t look like she meant to. “Wow, you really do like food.”

“You didn’t think I was kidding, did you?”

“If I did, I stand corrected.”

“Seriously, though, I’m starving. I need at least two meals worth of sushi right now.”

Lena laughs again, and Kara thinks, if she could spend her whole life making Lena laugh, she would. She definitely won’t be awful to have to fake-date.

By the time the food comes, Kara is just about ready to kill a man for something to eat.

“Thank God,” she says as a waitress walks out with two plates. She sets them down on the table and Lena smiles politely while Kara licks her lips.

Kara digs in to her food and moans. “Oh my God, this is so good.”

Lena chuckles. “Enjoying it, are you?”

Kara looks up, still chewing. “Where would you get that idea?”

~

They get the check at the end of the meal and, after an argument on who should pay, Kara does. They’re about to call Kara’s driver when she spots an ice cream shop across the street.

“Oh my God, Lena, we have to get ice cream! We could eat it and walk to the studio.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “Sushi and ice cream?”

“Ice cream is a suitable food for any occasion.” Kara sees that Lena isn’t convinced, so she says, “Please?” which elicits a groan from Lena, who gives in.

“Fine! But you’re paying.”

“Well, of course.”

Kara looks both ways before jogging across the street to the shop and opening the door for Lena, laughing as a bell chimes.

A man behind the counter says, “Hi, what can I get for you girls today?”

Kara steps up to the counter and looks at the choices before saying decidedly, “Mint chocolate chip, please.”

“How many scoops?” he asks.

“Two.”

The man places two scoops on a cone for Kara, who grabs it eagerly and begins to lick it. “God, this is good. Lena, do you want any?”

Lena shakes her head. “I’m not much for mint chocolate chip.”

Kara gasps. “What? How is that even possible?”

Lena just shrugs, a smile tugging on her lips.

“And for you?” asks the man.

“I’ll have butter pecan." 

“Two scoops as well?”

“Only one for me,” she says as she looks over at Kara, happily enjoying her ice cream.

He hands her the cone and says to Kara, “That’ll be seven dollars.”

Kara digs around in her pockets for her wallet and hands him a twenty-dollar bill. “Keep the change.”

The man thanks her, and they walk out of the shop, clutching their ice cream cones and headed to the studio.

Kara is the first to say anything. “Are you excited for our first day of filming?” 

Lena takes a lick of her ice cream and hums. “I guess so.”

“You guess so?”

“I mean, I wasn’t really so sure I wanted to do this movie in the first place.”

“Why not?”

Lena hesitates. “You know.”

Kara doesn’t push. “Yeah,” she says, even though she doesn’t know. “Why’d you do it, then?” 

“Jack really wanted me to. I thought it’d be good for us to work together again.”

“I’m sure it will be. Jack seems like a great guy.”

“He is,” Lena insists. “He’s the best guy I know.”

“I have a few of those,” says Kara. “My best friend, Winn, is pretty much perfect. Except when he’s talking about his nerd stuff, of course.”

“Nerd stuff?”

“Dungeons and Dragons, you know. The works.”

“Oh? What is this, 1985?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying! He keeps saying it’s cool now, but I’m not convinced.”

“Sounds like a nerd.”

“I’ll tell him you said that.”

“No, don’t! I don’t want a complete stranger to think I’m mean!”

“Nope, I’m gonna tell him. Then when you meet him he’ll sic his nerd friends on you.”

Lena looks over at Kara. “When I meet him?”

Kara freezes. “Yeah, I mean, if you meet him. He’s working on the movie, and since we’re friends, he might come see me and…. You know.”

“Yeah.”

“Plus, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together.”

Lena swallows. “Yeah.”

They don’t talk for a moment until Kara says, “Who’s your favorite artist?”

“What?”

“Twenty questions, let’s go. Who’s your favorite artist?”

“Are we talking, like, Van Gogh? Or are we talking Madonna?”

“Madonna.”

“Hmm,” says Lena, “I don’t know. I don’t think I have one.”

Kara gasps. “Do you not like music or something?” 

“No, Kara, of course I like music, I just don’t have a favorite artist.”

“I guess I can accept that as an answer.” 

“What about you? Who’s your favorite artist?”

“I would die for ‘NSync.”

Lena laughs. “I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“And why not? Are you saying that ‘NSnyc isn’t great?”

“No, I would never say that and risk pissing you off. Like you said, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together.”

Kara steals a glance at Lena, who’s taking bites out of her ice cream cone. She looks beautiful, even more so than in the photos Kara had seen six months ago. Not that Kara is looking at her like she’s beautiful. They’re friends. Friends. Mostly what she looks is guarded, like she’s scared something awful is going to happen again, but if Kara wasn’t looking for it, she wouldn’t have noticed.

“Who’s your favorite artist?” asks Lena.

“You already asked that,” says Kara.

“No, I mean like a Van Gogh artist.”

Kara hums. “I don’t think I have one. I never got into art like that.” She pauses. “What about you?”

“I always liked Picasso.” 

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I always liked his blue period. It spoke to me, I guess.”

“That’s nice.”

“Did you know that he had trouble selling his blue period works? It’s arguably now his most famous period, but he couldn’t find people willing to buy them then. I guess I just realized that, just because something isn’t working out at the time, doesn’t mean it’ll always be like that.”

“When did you realize that?”

“Very recently, actually.”

Kara guesses she’s talking about being outed, and it makes her heart hurt. She knows Lena’s been through unimaginable pain, and all she wants to do is take it away. She knows she can’t, though, no matter how hard she tries. She can, however, try to make it better, so she vows that’s what she’ll do.

“I’m proud of you.”

Lena blushes. “You shouldn’t be. I haven’t been thinking that way for very long.”

“But you’re thinking that way now, which is what matters.”

“Thanks,” Lena mumbles. 

~

By the time they get to the studio, they’ve both finished their ice cream, and Cat is waiting anxiously by the door.

“How’d your date go?” she asks.

Kara looks over at Lena, who just nods. “Fine,” says Kara.

“Excellent!” says Cat. “Since this was only the first date,” she says, voice low, “I don’t expect anything more than friendly conversation, but on your next one you should at least hold hands.”

“Of course, Ms. Grant,” says Lena.

“Great, let’s start filming.”

They walk in through the studio doors, and Cat leads them to a garden through the building with a bench. “Okay, so this is scene eight, where Danny talks about her relationship problems, right?”

“Right,” says Kara.

“Great, so sit down. The camera crew should be ready in two minutes.”

Kara walks over to the bench and sits down on the right side, letting Lena take the left. Lena looks nervous – though Kara doesn’t know why – so Kara starts to ramble, trying to get her mind off of whatever it is that’s worrying her.

“Alex usually comes in with me to set the first day of filming,” she begins. 

“Oh?” says Lena.

“Yeah. She says it’s because she wants to see the set and everything, but really I just think she’s checking out the people I’m working with, making sure no one’s out to kill me or anything.”

Lena chuckles. “Why would anyone kill you?”

Kara smiles, knowing that she’s succeeding in taking Lena’s mind off whatever it is that’s bothering her. “I have some state secrets, you know. My mom makes the best chocolate pecan pie in the galaxy, and I have access to the recipe. You never know who might torture me for that information.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure that’s really the information people get tortured for.” 

“Of course it is. What else would people need to know so badly?”

“You’re right. I totally agree.”

They sit there and laugh, and Kara thinks she would be content to talk with Lena for the rest of her life. As a friend, though. Obviously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me at maggiesawyering on tumblr!


	7. Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lena and kara have their first day on set

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to update!!!! i had writers block and u know how that is  
> as always thanks to my amazing beta thescreamingbisexual whom i LOVE

There is only one way to describe Kara Danvers, and that is using the word ‘beautiful.’ She’s beautiful in every sense of the word – the way she looks, the way she acts, the way she exists – and Lena knows this. She knows this because the way Kara makes her feel is unlike anything she’s ever felt before. Or, she guesses she’s felt it once before.

Kara jokes with her until it’s time to start the scene and Cat yells ‘action,’ at which point Kara wipes the smile off her face and turns away.

“I just don’t know what to do, Charlie,” says Lena. “I love Lindsey, God, do I love Lindsey, but it just feels like everything we do is different now.”

Kara nods. “What do you mean?”

“Like, we used to have so much fun just being around each other, but now it feels like everything is wrong. Do you know what I mean?” Lena looks over at Kara with an eyebrow raised.

Kara nods. “Yeah. That makes sense.” 

“I don’t know, I just feel like something is wrong, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“You could always just talk to her.” 

“Yeah, right. What, tell her, ‘something about our relationship feels bad and wrong, but I don’t know what’? That’ll go over great.” Lena puts her head in her hands and sighs.

Kara takes this opportunity to put her arm around Lena, letting Lena rest her head on her shoulder.

“Cut!” yells Cat. “That was great, guys. I want to do two or three more takes, and then we’ll move on to the next scene, okay?”

Kara removes her arm, and Lena finds that she misses the warmth. She knows it will be back, though, if Kara chooses to play the scene the same way. She hopes she will.

She doesn’t, but that doesn’t stop her from putting her arm around Lena at the end of the scene, anyway. Kara plays this scene like she’s already fallen in love, and Lena thinks for a second what an amazing actress Kara is because, if she didn’t know any better, she’d think Kara was actually falling for her. (She couldn’t be, though. Who would fall for Lena?)

“Okay,” starts Cat, “the next few scenes are just for the montage, so I’m just going to need you to act like you’re friends. Kara, make sure to give Lena ‘heart eyes,’ as the kids say.”

Kara grins. “I’ll be sure to do that.”

They stand up from the bench and walk over to the picnic blanket laid out on the grass for them. Kara sits down first and clears a spot next to her for Lena, who blushes. Kara is probably the most caring person Lena’s ever met. She wonders briefly what it would be like if she was someone Kara actually cared about and not just a co-star in a movie she was working on. What would it be like to be Kara’s best friend, or girlfriend, or – no. Lena is done with girlfriends.

Lena sits down next to Kara and smiles up at her, hoping she can’t guess what she’s thinking about.

“Ready?” asks Kara.

“Ready,” replies Lena.

“Action!” yells Cat.

There’s no audio in the scene, so Lena doesn’t have to recite any lines to Kara, which she’s grateful for because it means she can just talk to Kara like a normal person. 

Kara is more interested in the food in the picnic basket than she is in Lena, at first.

“This is my favorite part of montage scenes – sometimes there’s food you get to eat.” She opens up the basket to reveal sandwiches wrapped in cloth, red grapes, and a packet of Oreos. “Oh my God, my favorite!”

“I’m going to guess you like Oreos.”

Kara raises her eyebrows. “Doesn’t everybody?”

Lena just nods.

Kara rips open the packet and takes a large bite out of an Oreo before moaning. “God, these are good.” She chews for a moment, then picks up the packet and offers them to Lena. “Do you want any?” 

Lena just shakes her head. “I’m pretty full from the sushi. And the ice cream.” She pauses. “Come to think of it, how are you not exploding? You ate a lot.”

Kara shrugs. “I have a fast metabolism.”

“How do you afford to feed yourself?” Lena asks, laughing.

“Well, I don’t know if you knew this, but being an actress pays very well.”

“I’d hope so, with all the food you must buy.” 

“My sister used to complain that I was eating our parents out of house and home when I was younger.”

“Yeah, how did they afford to feed you? I don’t know of any other Danvers in the acting business.”

“They’re both doctors, actually.” 

“Well, I guess that would pay pretty well, too.”

Kara has eaten at least half of the packet of Oreos, which Lena finds incredible considering how much food she had before. They talk for a few more minutes, mostly about the food, which Kara is loving, and Lena finds it adorable, until Cat yells, “Cut!” and they stop.

“Go back to your dressing rooms now, ladies. Your costumes for the next scene should be on the hangers.”

Kara stuffs another Oreo in her mouth before getting up, at which point Cat says, “I’m not paying you to dilly dally, Kara. Get moving!” 

Lena stifles a laugh as she heads to her dressing room. When she arrives, she sees a light blue sweater and dark wash jeans, which she hastily puts on before exiting back to the set.

Cat is waiting impatiently when she gets back to the set with Kara.

“This is the end of the montage, where you’re watching clouds pass by. When I say go, Kara, you’re going to reach for Lena’s hand. Lena, you’re going to hesitate for a moment and then allow it to happen.”

“Got it, boss,” says Kara.

Cat just sighs.

Lena lies down on the grass with Kara on her right side, hands almost touching but not quite.

“Action,” says Cat.

Lena raises her arm and points to the sky. “Look, that one looks like an elephant!”

She can feel Kara looking over at her, smiling. “You’re actually taking this seriously, I see.”

“What can I say, I’m a serious actress.”

“I never would’ve guessed.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “No, but I’m serious, that one actually looks like an elephant."

She looks over at Kara, who is now squinting up at the clouds, trying to find the one Lena was talking about. Eventually, she does, and she says, “Oh, wow, you’re right.”

“Did you ever doubt me?”

“Not for a moment.” 

There’s a moment of silence where Kara is looking at Lena and Lena is trying to look anywhere but in Kara’s endlessly blue eyes before Cat says, “Go.” Kara looks down at their hands and slowly reaches out to grab Lena’s.

Lena’s not sure what comes over her, but she wants to immediately grab ahold of her hand and never let go. She doesn’t, of course. She’s a Luthor. She’s controlled. Instead, she closes her eyes and slowly reaches back out for Kara’s hand until they’re touching, just barely. Lena can see out of the corner of her eye that Kara turns back to the clouds and smiles. She wonders for a moment if Kara is feeling what she is, but dismisses it. Kara is just an actor. A very good actor.

They stay there for a few minutes, hands touching so that Lena can feel her heartbeat in her fingertips. (She hopes Kara can’t feel how fast it is.)

Cat eventually yells, “Cut!” and they pull their hands away. Lena sits up, pulling the hand that was just in Kara’s close to her.

“That was great,” says Cat.

They do the scene a few more times, and each time Lena tries to push down the feelings she’s having. They’re not real. She’s probably just feeling like this because this is the closest she’s been to a pretty girl since Jess. Not that she thinks Kara is pretty. Well, Kara is pretty. Very pretty. Objectively. Lena thinks Kara is pretty objectively.

Right.

~

When she gets home that night, she calls Jack. He doesn’t pick up the first time she calls, but when she redials his number a half hour later, he picks up immediately.

“Hey, Lena,” he begins.

“Hi, Jack. Just calling to check in.”

“Sorry, I was with that guy I was telling you about.”

“Oh?”

“Oh, indeed. He was a true gentleman. He took me out to Moretti’s, actually. The place we had the cast dinner at, remember?" 

“I remember.”

There’s a woosh of air, like Jack has just stepped out onto a busy street. “Taxi!” he calls. “Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?”

Lena hesitates. “No, nothing.” 

“Really? Because it seemed like you wanted to talk.”

“It’s nothing, really.”

“Then tell me about ‘nothing.’”

Lena sighs and plops down on the couch. “We had our first day of filming today.”

“Lena, that’s great! How was it?” 

“Good. Good.”

“Just good?”

“Yeah. Good. I spent time with people that aren’t you, for once, and I think it was good for me. I got out of the house and everything.”

“That’s certainly good.”

“I had my fake date with Kara, too.” 

The noise stops on Jack’s end of the phone and Lena hears a car door shut. “Oh? How was that?”

“Fine.”

“Just fine?” 

“No, actually, it was more than fine. Kara took me to a sushi place and she ate more than I’ve ever seen anyone eat. How is she so thin?”

“I don’t know.”

“And then we got ice cream after, and she paid like a gentlewoman, and it was really nice.”

“Really nice, huh?”

“Jack, are you just repeating words back to me?”

Jack sighs. “Yes, I’m sorry, I’m just thinking about the date.”

“Okay, tell me all about it.”

She can almost hear Jack smile through the phone. “It was so nice, Lena. He picked me up at my apartment and we walked to the restaurant. And he was so kind, you wouldn’t even believe it. He laughed at all my jokes, and he told some really good ones himself, actually. Do you want to hear one?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, a horse walks into a bar and orders a beer. Several patrons get up and leave as they realize the potential danger of the situation.” Jack chuckles. “Good, right?”

“No, that was awful. However, you liked it, which means you must really like this guy.”

“I really do. And you know what?”

“What?”

“I think you like Kara.”

Lena scoffs. “Me? Like her? No. I definitely don’t like Kara.”

“Sure.”

“I don’t. She wouldn’t like me back, anyway.”

“I doubt that. I bet she looks at you like you hung the sun and stars in the sky.”

“She’s acting, Jack.”

“Is she?" 

“I think so.” 

“See, you think so. You could be wrong.” 

“I’m not. But anyway, it’s too soon. I just broke up with Jess,” she says. What she doesn’t say is how the idea of liking a girl gives her a lump in her throat. She can hear her mother’s voice echoing in her head, saying, _That’s wrong, Lena. I can’t believe you would do that._ She remembers her brother crossing the street when he saw two men holding hands. She remembers all this, and she knows that they’re wrong, and being gay is perfectly okay, but she can’t shake the feeling that it gives her. “I just broke up with Jess,” she repeats.

“I know. Just… be open to it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Goodbye, Lena.”

“Goodbye, Jack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to me at maggiesawyering.tumblr.com!


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